NOT WHO I WAS

'PEOPLE HURT US AND HARM US, AND WE END UP CARRYING AROUND THESE DEBTS THEY OWE US WHEREVER WE GO. TO FORGIVE IS TO REFUSE TO CARRY THOSE DEBTS ANYMORE.'
-ROB BELL (VELVET ELVIS)

"You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy.  But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect."
-Jesus of Nazareth


Forgiveness is a hard subject to write on and even talk about...but should it? I mean if we are all followers of Christ then we are a 'new creation'...right? I know this isn't the first time that I've written on the subject, but I really do think that pride is the real reason behind many of our struggles. Pride often prevents us from admitting we were wrong, pride projects the fault unto others and gives a false sense of security to the person who's projecting and not admitting. Pride also makes it hard to reach out for help...I mean once we realize we have done wrong, we don't like to speak of it.
I personally think that this whole 'new creation' thing is hard. I mean forgiveness is letting go of the past, the burden of lies we have built up to protect ourselves, and letting the healing begin. It truly is a process. But I think there's another truth we dare not speak of: a dark truth about ourselves-that God can't possibly fix our mistakes. It's a recognition or thought that God isn't bigger than our issues and that we're all alone. I think that's our ball and chain in life...the thing we struggle with. I mean isn't it true? Society pushes this on us-this independent way of thinking that we can do it on our own. I mean, it's the attitude we gave our parents every time we wanted to assert our independence-I don't need you anymore, I can do it on my own! We have truly become stubborn.
The irony is that we end up surrounding ourselves with like-minded people who only think of self and very little of others. This group is considered a 'click' in the 90's and early 00's and it still exists today. But we have been warned about this before. Paul, in his letter to the people of Corinth warns that we shouldn't be decieved. In Romans, Paul also writes about how we aren't supposed to be like others and that we are to seek God.
It shouldn't be surprising that we struggle. Not only do we not read much, but we don't listen very well either. Isn't it interesting that God gave us one mouth and two ears? I think we overlook that too much-we're too quick to speak. 
In closing, I'd like to just say that you're not alone in your struggle to forgive or seek forgiveness. It takes a lot of 'unlearning' to give up and let God in. My hope is that you will enjoy the video below...listen to the words and let it speak to your heart. Don't let the great 'influence peddler' (Satan) keep you separated from God, friends and family.